This evening, I dodged through snarly traffic, dived through the doors of departing subway cars and ran six New York City blocks at sprint. I fought the resistance to stay home even though I knew the chances of my getting to the screening on time were slim and my chances of liking the movie slimmer. I had to find out if Jim Carrey is worth the praise (and the money) he's getting. I'd seen BATMAN FOREVER and most of THE MASK but they didn't leave me with enough to make a judgment. Ace Ventura is the definitive Carrey role. If I can get at that, I'll understand the fascination with Jim Carrey.

I didn't get it.

I also had to find out if this movie would make me laugh - at all. It did - a total of 6 times. Two of those times I was laughing at the movie, and no-one else was laughing with me.

There are times when I feel totally out of sync with popular culture. I felt it when I first heard Madonna, when "Home Improvement" became a big success. I felt it tonight, too. Everyone was laughing, laughing. I heard from a row behind me, "That Jim Carrey, he's so crazy!"

The things ACE VENTURA reminded me of (besides every other on-screen appearance Jim Carrey has made) were Woody Woodpecker and the Three Stooges. I even smelled the faintest hint of the Marx Brothers in there. But ACE VENTURA has none of their wit. The comedy relies 70% on Jim Carrey's expressions and mannerisms, 20% on being gross and 10% on being funny.

Ok, ok, I should say some nice things now...

My favorite scene in the movie: Ace runs out of the mansion, chasing the bad guy who has just escaped in a jeep. He dashes to the row of vehicles in front of the mansion. He checks the first jeep - no keys. He checks the second jeep - no keys. He checks the third jeep - no keys. Now he walks around the gigantic tires of a monster 4x4 truck. He checks it - the keys are in the ignition.

The only scene that might be better than this is when he confronts a rich old woman and her little rich old husband about the dead fox she's wearing around her shoulders. The woman says, "We should enjoy the fruits of nature." Ace enjoys nature's fruits by punching out her husband and wearing him around his shoulders like the fox.

Another nice thing about this movie is that it is short. And the last nice thing about ACE VENTURA PET DETECTIVE: WHEN NATURE CALLS is that it chips at the hegemony of one-word titled movies reviewed on this list (MALLRATS, DESPERADO, ASSASINS, etc.).

As I was plotting my revenge against this movie, I had thought to divulge the entire contents of the plot as well as any big-payoff gags. The plot isn't worth repeating and there are no gags worth blowing that I haven't already blown. If you've seen the commercials, you know it takes place in Africa (despite the fact that they use Indian elephants). That's all you need to know, because ACE VENTURA draws the rest of its story from stereotypes - primarily of traditional cultures, but also of Australians.

I've already spent too much time thinking about this film and I'm way behind on putting it out of my memory. If anyone can argue that I've underestimated this movie, please let me know. If anyone can tell me what makes this role different from any of the others Carrey has played, I'd be glad to hear it. But that would mean you'd have to go to see the movie. And if you are not a Jim Carrey fan, I wouldn't recommend doing that.

(Oh but for the money they spent... Oh but for the acetate that could have been made into perfectly usable ashtrays...)

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