"I've got a murder at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, an address that changes all the rules."

When I saw Wesley Snipes jump out of a helicopter landing in front of the White House and utter those words, I wanted to retch. The rest of the trailer for MURDER AT 1600 was no better: hackneyed lines, familiar characters, run-of-the-mill shots of chases, threats and gunplay. It was a parody of a trailer, or an anti-trailer, one that makes you want to avoid the movie.

I saw the film anyway, and what I found in the feature was not too different from the trailer. But while the trailer nearly reduced me to tears, I found I could stomach the movie. Nevertheless, sucking down a plain vanilla thriller does not make for a satisfying night at the movies.

The premise is simple. Wesley Snipes plays a Washington, D.C. detective called in when a protocol staffer is found murdered in a White House lavatory. To solve the murder, he has to penetrate layer after layer of Federal protectiveness and deceit.

Snipes does nothing I haven't seen him (and a half-dozen other actors in similar roles) do before. His Detective Harlan Regis bears most of the usual traits for this kind of character -- strong, dedicated, quick-thinking and slightly off-the-wall. And while it's not central to this movie as it is others, let's not forget he's good with the ladies. Neither Snipes's screen persona, nor the efforts of the filmmakers can extrude this character into three dimensions. For example, the writers try to make Regis a unique character by giving him a hobby building vast historical dioramas. After all, you've never seen a streetwise detective who loves building miniature vistas before, right? And it serves the plot by giving him extensive knowledge of Washington D.C. The device is so obvious, however, it ends up subtracting from his realness.

Secret Service Agent Nina Chance, played by Diane Lane is somewhat more interesting. Coverup isn't just part of her cosmetics kit, it's part of her job. She begins the movie assigned to keep Regis from getting too close to a truth that might bring down a President. Eventually, she must face the question: If protecting the President means sacrificing justice, then what does the Presidency mean? In the tradition of many strong, second-fiddle female characters, Agent Chance softens over the course of the film. Tradition dictates such women start the movie with masculine clothing, controlled emotions and hair pulled up in a bun, braid, or tight ponytail. As the movie progresses, the hair comes down, the clothes become more feminine and/or casual, the emotions gush. Agent Chance never gets gushy, but she goes the extra mile with her wardrobe, apparently abandoning the use of a bra by the end of the movie. However, I wouldn't call that "stretching the genre."

The plot was formulaic as math. I knew the things that had to happen as I progressed toward the conclusion (add evidence here, subtract a character there). Some of it was genuinely suspenseful, some of it truly entertaining; much of it felt contrived. Fortunately, none of it was bad enough to make me as ill as the trailer did.

Though I suspect others will be quicker to guess the solution than I, I thought it was a neat surprise. MURDER AT 1600 does serve up a nice platter of red herring. But while the herring was tasty, I was almost always aware of what I was eating.

Among the things that *did* work for MURDER AT 1600 was the casting of the supporting actors. When I saw Ronny Cox as President Neil, I could think of him only as the overlord Vilas Cohaagen from TOTAL RECALL. Likewise, when I saw Alan Alda as National Security Advisor Alvin Jordan, I could remember only the pacifist Hawkeye from TV's "MASH." But in MURDER AT 1600, the President is portrayed as a nice guy while Jordan is depicted as a hawk. This departure from Cox and Alda's usual roles helps make MURDER AT 1600 more interesting.

By the way, what's with John McLaughlin of "The McLaughlin Group." Does he have some sort of deal that whenever a film takes place in Washington D.C., his TV show is worked into the script? McLaughlin is the political commentator who gathers a group of journalists every week to ask them their opinions, then tell them they're wrong. He plays himself in MURDER AT 1600, as he did in INDEPENDENCE DAY, GETTING AWAY WITH MURDER and DAVE. Does anyone have any other sightings? I think he should stay clear of the film industry for a while; he might start mistaking the make-believe political figures for real ones.

The audience seemed somewhat more forgiving of MURDER AT 1600 than I. Yeah, they laughed with me at points when the movie didn't intend to be funny. But, they did applaud when the credits rolled -- and it wasn't entirely from relief.

Despite some entertaining aspects, the formulaic story and the Colorform characters bar me from recommending MURDER AT 1600 for anything beyond a video rental. And you could probably wait until it comes off the New Releases shelf, so you can get it cheaper. If you decide to go for it now, well, at least you'll know what to expect.

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